Month: June 2008

The Mitr

Beautiful BramhaKamal


The flower of the night bramha kamal (ब्रम्ह कमळ) in Marathi also known as Epiphyllum oxypetalum is one of the most beautiful flowers that you will see. Though the time for which it blooms is very short typically a few hours in the night, it makes the most of it. The fragrance of the flower is to be had, there are no word in any language of the world to describe it. We had a plant at our house for quite some time but it did not flower, once it flowered and we did not notice.

But the next time it did, I was all ready with the Canon S2, so here are the shots from circa June 2006.





Did play with a new White LED torch that I had got recently.

Then when I came to HBCSE, I saw a second one of my life, this is circa August 2006. So here are the photos from that episode. Here a white spider was seen sitting on the petals, waiting for its prey, quite good camouflage!

Can you not see the spider above and below?


Just I was getting over this flower, someone told me that Gajanan in the centre has had an amazing bloom of bramha kamal’s at his house, a staggering 8 of them at the same time. Initially I did not believe it. But anyway we went to see it. So it was another amazing sight. So double eye candy for me on the same night.


In 2007 somehow the plant flowered but I missed to take the shots. But in 2008 I did not. The plant at HBCSE had bloomed twice so far this year, and today on 30 bumper bloom again, total 7 of them!! All at our disposal. So here are the shots from this episode.



Since my white LED torch gave up at the very crucial moment, I had to use a yellow light torch. But this resulted in golded epi’s. Which look equally good!!!



No matter how many times you see them, a new flower of bramha kamal will always delight you, no matter how many times you smell it, you will still crave for its smell. So this is the amazing bramha kamal a.k.a. Epiphyllum oxypetalum.

A good links for information on the same:

http://web.missouri.edu/~riceg/epiphyllum/

Till next time adios…

The Mitr

Orchids


Orchids have the most beautiful flowers in the world. If you don’t agree with me, just have a look below. Though in the wild I have been able to spot them only twice. I went to a flower show where I could get an actual glimpse of their beauty.

So here they are…
Some [most] classifications are pending, they will be done when Ritesh finds time….

Habenaria grandifloriformis

Habenaria longicaricata












The Mitr

The Dialogue

Purity

Oh I am so pure. Don’t touch me!

Why?

Because you will pollute me.

Who, me?

Yes, you.

But, how can I?

You will, somehow.

Is that so?

Yes.

Okay, then go away.

No, I don’t want to.

Why?

Because I like it here.

But then you will get polluted.

No, I won’t.

Are you sure?

Yes I am.

But what if I touch you? Won’t you get polluted?

I don’t know.

What you don’t know?

I don’t know why I want to stay here. Would you tell me?

I have already told you.

You did not tell me.

Yes I did.

But when?

So many times, but you did not understand.

I did not understand?

Yes you did not.

How can that be? I am a good person at keeping and understanding relationships, how can you say I did not understand when you told me?

Because you did not understand.

Do not make things more complicated for me.

Am I making things complicated?

Yes you are.

I think it is the other way round.

Means?

I think you are making things complicated for everybody.

No I am not.

Yes you are.

But I just want to stay.

And not be touched?

Yes.

That is something you don’t understand.

Means.

It is as simple as this.

As simple as what?

As simple as, you cannot have the cake and eat it too.

Oh yes I can have and eat it too!

This is what you don’t understand.

Oh yes I do, how will I not have the cake and eat it too? That is not an Escheresque impossibility.

Oh yes it is! And this is the precise thing that you are not understand.

But I am not mathematically minded.

You do not have to be mathematically minded to understand this.

So, if I was mathematically minded would I have understood?

Even if you were, I am doubtful whether you would be able to understand. I know of mathematicians who fail to understand this.

So is there no way for me?

Yes there is.

What is it?

Please go away.

But why should I?

Because you don’t belong here, this is my place.

Friends

But cannot I have shelter here? I am all alone and lonely?

Are you really?

Yes I think so.

I don’t think so.

Why?

When you need to talk, you always find people to talk to.

No I don’t. I don’t have any friends left anymore.

Why?

All of them abandoned me.

Why?

I don’t know the reasons. I had been so nice to all of them.

Were you really?

Yes I was?

Then why did they broke up with you?

They tried to wake me up from my dreamworld. A world where all the things that I do were perfect.

But did they do anything wrong then?

Yes they did.

If they tried to wake you from dream world, what wrong they did?

Yes, they did. Trying to wake me up from my dreamworld, was the precisely wrong thing they did.

But how can that be wrong?

Why not, I want to live in a dreamworld, I am so happy there, why wake me up?

But what happens when dream clashes with the real world. They would be shattered, won’t they? You should see Requiem for a Dream, then maybe you will understand.

I am not thinking about that.

That is what your friends tried to tell you.

I don’t think so.

They tried to rob me from what little happiness that I had, and still I have in my dream world.

I think they were concerned about you and your future.

They were not. They were just not happy, because I was happy.

How can you say that?

I just know.

Know what?

That people cannot stand it, when I am happy.

But happy for what?

Happy for anything.

Even living in dream world and making castles in the air?

But I was not making castles in the air?

But your friends thought so?

Did they?

Yes and a lot many of them.

But they wanted to take my dream away from me.

So?

That is not right, everybody has right to their own dream.

Yes they do.

Then why were they after me to abandon my dream.

Because they thought it was not good for you.

But I would like keep my dream, they won’t let me keep it.

At what cost?

At any cost!

Then you have paid the cost.

How?

By abandoning your friends, instead of abandoning your dream.

Is that so?

Yes precisely.

But I thought they left me, not the other way round.

No, it is not so.

Why?

How can be so many people be wrong about your dream?

They are jealous!

Jealous? For what?

For me being happy.

But if they were friends of yours, how can be they jealous of your happiness?

They were not friends to begin with.

Then?

They were just compromises I had made.

Is that so?

Yes.

But then so am I, just a compromise.

I don’t know.

Tell me one thing what is so special about this dream, that you abandoned all your friends for that.

It is an imported dream.

So?

What so? Tell me how many imported dreams you get, a very few indeed.

Ok. Any other specialty of this dream?

Yes.

Tell me about it.

This dream is blind.

What do you mean?

Yes, the dream cannot see people, as it is blind as bat, especially during day time.

And yet you want to hold on to it?

Yes because it is my dream, and it cannot hurt me in any way.

Since you have made [and will eventually make] so many sacrifices for your dream, I think it must be worth those sacrifices you have made.

I don’t know.

What do you mean?

I am not so sure whether the dream will be worth the sacrifices I have made.

They why did you make them?

Well this is my life, and I don’t need you ir anybody to tell me what to do with it.

But you only had asked about it?

Did I?

Yes you did?

Well don’t tell me then, what to do with my life and my dream. They are mine and I won’t tolerate any interference with it.

Even if it ruins you?

Yes. And what do you care? As I have already told you, it is my life. So stay away from it!

But that is what I am precisely asking you to do.

Meta-Thinking

What do you mean? I do not understand?

To stay away from me.

I cannot.

You cannot.

Why?

Because you do not capacity or the ability to think about what other person is thinking.

How can you say that?

Why not?

I am above the age of formal operational stage of Piaget.

But you still cannot do
meta-thinking.

I don’t think so.

How?

I know all your motives and what you want from me. I know all of your kind, and what they want from my kind.

Is that so?

Yes.

Then tell me what do I want from you?

You and all your kind are all the same.

Ok. Agreed. And I am proud of it.

How can you say that?

Why, is it not my life? Can’t I do anything with it, the way I want.

Not when I am involved.

Is it not hypocritical of you, to say this?

No it is not.

Why?

Because I am special, everybody should take care of me.

What makes you special?

My charms!

I am not charmed any more.

It is not possible!

Why?

You cannot…..

I cannot what? It is my life and my place, I can, and I do.

So?

So just stay away.

But I have told you, I don’t want to stay away.

Then abandon your dream, but still then I am not sure of allowing you to .

Don’t tell me what to do with my life.

Ok.

Why are you treating me so?

You should better know. You have the ability to meta-think don’t you?

Ok. So give me reasons.

I have no reasons.

What do you mean you have no reasons?

I have no reasons for my behavior, and even if I have, I am not obliged to share it with you.

Why?

Because there are no reasons, only choices.

Only choices?

Yes.

I don’t understand this.

You made some choices, you did not ask anybody and did not listened to anybody.

So?

So likewise why do you want to interfere with choices that I make?

Because it involves me!

The choices you made involved me.

So what, I have already told you, don’t interfere with my life.

Then I am sorry, you must leave. This is my dream.

Why?

Every place has its rules, if you don’t follow them you don’t belong there.

But I don’t care about rules.

But others do.

So?

Thats why you must leave.

I don’t understand you or your logic.

Is that my problem?

Yes it is, should it be not?

No.

Why?

I have stopped taking responsibilities which are not mine?

Why?

I don’t benefit from them.

But still you should.

Why?

For me.

No way.

Why?

You are not worth it.

You don’t mean it.

Yes I do.

All of you are torturing me.

Are we?

Yes you are.

You are torturing yourself and others also.

How?

You have the ability to meta-think, don’t you? Think about it.

I can’t.

So be it.

Relationships

But we do have a relationship.

You are wrong.

Why?

We had one, we don’t have one anymore.

You can’t do this to me.

Why?

How can you?

How can I what?

Abandon me.

Why should not I?

It is not proper.

Not proper for whom.

For both of us.

Don’t drag me with you.

But what happened to the relationship we had?

It was a one sided one.

What do you mean?

It was all your side of the relationship.

Means?

Only you benefited from this and still are.

How can you say so?

Look at the past and see what have I gained from this.

I don’t know. But why do you need to gain?

Why should I not gain?

You are a good person. Why do you want to gain something from this?

Why I should not?

Then you are exploiting me.

Nobody exploits anybody.

You wanted something from me, but did not give anything in return.

Why should I?

If you don’t are you not selfish?

No, I am not.

You just want to take, what you want, not give anything in return.

Why do you expect any return from me?

Is it no right?

No, when I am involved it is not right.

This is what your problem is.

What??

You are unable to think what others expect from you.

And?

And when sometimes you know, even then you tend to ignore it.

I don’t agree to that.

I had told you already, that you don’t understand.

Enough!

What do you want from me?

Friendship

I want your friendship.

But it cannot be one-sided.

How can you say that it is one-sided?

Well in this case I can give you reasons.

What reasons?

See in any friendship there should be some respect for each other.

Are you saying that I don’t respect you?

Yes, and not only me, but lot of others also.

How?

When you are with someone, somewhere, you are not bothered about them, even if they are your friends.

How can you say that?

When you are with somebody, you just don’t care about them.

What do you mean?

When your dream comes calling, you just ignore who is with you.

No, I don’t.

What does it mean if you leave people stranded in middle of nowhere, when you are happily day-dreaming somewhere else.

I haven’t done this.

Yes you have, and that too many a time.

Who says so?

If it was just me, I would have considered it an exception, but I am not the only one who has suffered.

You consider your ignoring of me an insult.

Yes, I do.

Bullshit!

I told you, you don’t have meta-thinking.

Okay. This is one where else I do not fit in.

Well you never seem to have time for us.

Yes, I am very busy person, so many things to do.

So is that my fault?

No.

Have I ever said to you, that I don’t have time, when you have asked for some.

I don’t know.

And how many times have you said that you don’t have time, when I wanted some of yours.

I have already told you, I am a busy person, so many things to do.

So am I, but still I do find time when friends call upon me.

So do you mean I am lying.

No.

Then?

What I mean is, if you want, you can always find time.

But I cannot.

Who are you fooling now?

What do you mean?

Don’t you always find time for somethings or someones.

You are again interfering with my life.

So be it, but it bothers me a lot.

How does this bother you?

For me when somebody says, I don’t have time, I feel the person does not want to be with me.

Another one of your crappy things.

Yes, but I am like that.

So what do I do?

I have told you already.

What?

Go away.

But we can talk.

No.

Why?

I don’t want to.

Why?

You have given me enough pain already.

So have you.

Yours were self made.

No you gave them to me.

You could have avoided them easily.

How?

Maybe you should have a
voided me.

But that is what I don’t want.

You are not sure what you want and what you don’t.

How can you say that?

You like me and you hate yourself for that, don’t you?

How can you say that?

I can meta-think at least a bit.

Bullshit, these are your self-gratifying thoughts.

So be it, and here the dialogue ends as there is nothing more left to talk about….

adios…….

The Mitr

Monsoon Mushroom Mania

Come monsoon the life giver of Indian subcontinent, and with it comes a plethora of mushrooms. Mushrooms literally mushroom in the monsoons. They come in a variety of sizes, shapes, colors.

So here are few of them from my collection.

I will put the identification, as I get them, it would be great if someone else helps…


























The Mitr

Three Femmes

That day three remarkable events happened. All of them involved females. The first one I call strange attractor. In the morning I was supposed to go at the RTO, for the test of the permanent driving license. When we were still at the driving school, which incidentally is just across the road of the Centre, one particular female caught my attention. She was in her late 30’s and had a typical look of a Northern lady, who has maybe brought up in Delhi or some place nearby. This I deduced from the kind of dress and its fit she was wearing. Somehow I don’t know, but I felt suddenly attracted very much to this lady. This particular lady was not that attractive, neither she had a very curvy figure, but nonetheless I felt a strange attraction towards her. She was standing on the other side of the road, I could not see her properly, but still this strange charm of her, had been cast over me. Why? I could not understand. 


The lady found some friend, who was on the same side of the road as I was. They both came to the middle of road, at the divider and started talking across the street. This was funny. Two women talking in the middle of the road [literally], talking loudly as they could not hear each other clearly. So that they became the centre of attention [again literally]. Anyways the lady, then came to my side of the road, then I saw her close by. She had not put on any make-up, even if she had it must be very light, the kind of which is unnoticeable. As for my attraction, I still didn’t know why I strangely felt attracted towards this particular female, I had no reasons to. If she had a very striking face, I would have fell for her, or if she had an awesome figure, I would have fell for her, or if she was wearing a very hip dress, I would have…. But, but neither was the case, then why, why did I fell for her?


I did not miss a chance to see her, see her move, see her talk, trying to figure out why, I felt so attracted to her. With her I felt a sort of familiarity, which I should not have felt, because I was seeing her for the first time. I felt familiar with her face, her body and her body language, the way she talked, it was so familiar. I had seen her. Deja vu. But why? I could not figure out….


And the feeling was very strong, I felt as if I had known her for so long, that I could not imagine things without her. Why should such a case occur with a complete stranger? Not that I have not been attracted to strangers, but this was something different. Some connection was present here, which I could not comprehend or understand even when I wanted to. I felt a sense of belonging to her, which you usually do not feel with complete strangers….

For the next hour or so, my mind was intensely struggling about this. I had to find a solution, I had to. Otherwise memories of her and the strange attraction that I felt would not let me be in peace. They say there are two types of things that you cannot see. One when the things are too small, and other when they are too large, too large for you to imagine. I guess the cause of my attraction to the lady was of the later type. Epiphany! And the mystery was resolved. The familiarity with the face was striking, it must be, for it was her face. How could I over look such a simple thing?  This one, was definitely too big. This should have come to my mind as the first thing, when I saw her. As with other problems, once you have had looked at the solution, you find otherwise cryptic steps simple. Once you decipher a cipher all the mysteries surrounding it, are gone. So was this case, she was as beautiful as her, but maybe 6-7 years in the future. But she had all the elements of her, she really had them all…. All the charms of her, were present in her. But anyway, I felt a bit relieved when I could figure out what had happened…. 


Finally things made sense….


The second case was in the evening. We went to the bus stop to drop her. There was a young [most probably college going] couple sitting at the bus stop. When we went pass them, they seemed to be having a serious talk. The body language of both was heavy, both were carrying, it seemed, a huge burden on them. The girl was fair, maybe 18-19, a real PYT. She was wearing a pink top, which matched with her fair appearance, and had right mass at right places. They were having a silent argument, in which all the violence is in the mind instead of the words. These are the more dangerous types, as you don’t know when the other person will erupt, burst out, when will the physical manifestation of this struggle would occur. I am more this kind of person. 


When we went to our stop, the fighting I guess intensified, not verbally but mentally. Just as her bus
was at the gate, I saw the guy throwing a bag or something towards the girl, the things were getting out of hand. Then she said something to him, and…. Smack! He hit her right on the face, with a forceful blow. We were standing maybe, 25-30 feet away but I could still clearly hear the unmistakable sound of someone being slapped. They were not looking, they were too keen about the bus that was coming. Though for me the sound of the slap lasted for briefest of moments, for her I guess, it would be audible in her head  for some time to come. It was all happening like it does in the movies. After this incident, the girl could not be seen, as 2-3 buses obstructed our view and when they cleared the girl had already walked out of the depot. The guy was still sitting there on the stop, with an expression on his face as if, nothing had happened. Then came the discussion that whether we should have intervened in what happened. Had the girl still been there, there was a chance that we could have done something about it. May be if she had replied in kind, people around her and us would have supported her. But she did not stay, she offered no resistance and so all our discussions on this issue are all theoretical…. Is this also not the plight of the women who suffer, that they do not offer resistance? They do not face and stand things when they should? May be other people will come to support them, maybe they will not…. If she had shown the guts to face him, I would have of course taken her side, even not knowing who was the wrongdoer. Was it the girl or the boy?


Should we have gone to the guy and asked “Why did you slap her?” Or we as all others at the depot be mute spectators of this event and just be away with it. May be if we had asked he would have attacked us, may be we should have asked her instead. What would be her reaction? What made this guy do this thing to her? What were their troubles which led to this event? These and a lot of other questions will go unanswered and maybe will bother me for some time to come….


Now, to the third one. The enchantress. We went to have ice cream in the night. As soon as I parked and we entered the parlour, I was dumbstruck. For there were a pair of eyes, with almost enchanting and magical effects staring straight at me. The light colored eyes, were full of make-up, with eye-liners and eye-shadows, but even without them, just with a line of kohl, the effect would have been the same. Lisa Ray has the eyes of same color, but this female’s eyes and body were much bigger than hers. With the gaze that female wore, there was no escaping, when she stares at you, you have to look back. And once you look you cannot look for long, as she stared straight right up to your soul, it touches and stirs somethings deep inside you, which you yourself don’t know exist. The gaze penetrated right through your flesh and went beyond, much beyond. It was a glare of something un-human and there was something about it, which I cannot describe in words. You have to experience it to see what I saw. Something in it was not natural, the eyes were scary and yet fatally attractive at the same time. When I stared back, I felt what a moth must be feeling when it goes straight into the flame. The sort of feeling that you get is some sort of fanaticism. The beauty was such that it looked raw, fearful, yet pristine and supreme. I felt a strange attraction towards her, but I could not stare at her, for it was too much for me to handle. Maybe this is what they say happens to you, when a tiger in the wild stares at you, you just cannot let the gaze go….


“Did you look at her?” was her first reaction. She was too scared of her, too scared after the first look itself. So scared that she did not dare to look back at her, for the fear of the gaze of those enchanting eyes. She wondered sleeping next to a person, with eyes like this, and in the middle of the night they suddenly open their eyes. You will not be scared like anything? The female was fair, but not so fair. If she was a bit darker the effect of her eyes and complexion would have been really awesome. Somehow I like dark toned women who have light colored eyes. They just steal the show. There is something about them, which makes them so desirable, they are different and yet they are the same. Simply put it is beyond words, find her and look for yourself what I mean….