What was the need of putting me all through these? Why can’t be people straight about their feelings about me? If I am f no concern to them they should tell so … directly. Why crib about it, then make you feel `Oh I am so concerned about you…’ all bull shit. Nobody cares, everybody wants their piece of meat and wants to get away… Go away and don’t ever come back in my life…

Most of us including me are living a pseudo life…. We don’t want to see the `other’ side ever… The `other’ is not acceptable, hence we twist and turn the reality to such dimensions that it is diametrically opposite to what people other than you are thinking about.

This is a classic Rashomon effect, what ever action you do, good or bad, people tend to put labels on you… And these labels have to have a reason, which these people will only come up with. This is irrespective of whether you originally intended to have that reason or not…

But then as Solaris puts it `There are No Answers, Only Choices,’ and this is what people make. They make choices, only choices which can have only superficial reasons. The reasons that seem to be convincing at one point of time, might see m absurd at another. Or even might seem absurd to someone other at the same moment of time. This choice is what determines the future of your outcomes… But to decide what choice is to be made, what are the reasons that one can give?

I really want to

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